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Remix Pack 1 - Funny Shayari, Jokes all together.

Khuda Hi Khuda
Idhar khuda hai, udar khuda hai,
Jidar dekho udar khuda hai,
idhar-udhar bus khuda hi khuda hai
jidhar nahi khuda hai….udhar kal khudega!

Recent News Headlines : Softdrinks Contain Dangerous Pestcides.
Insan to newspaper padh sakte hain par janwaro ka
kya hoga kyonki…. Aaj kal CHEETAH BHI PEETA HAI !

Pyaar Ise Kehte Hain
Jawani ko zindage ki nikhaar kehte hain,
pathjad ko chaman ka majdhaar kehte hain,
Ajeeb chalan hain duniya ka yaaro,
Ek Dhoka hain Jise hum sab “PYAAR” kehte hain !

Mohabbat ki Chita
Dil tod diya ab chitha bhi jala dena,
Kafan na ho to dupatta odha dena,
Koi puche rog kya tha toh nazar jukhakar
“Mohabbat” bata dena!

Ai mere kadardan, Dost meri Jaan,
Tum hamesha rahoge hattekhatte nawjawan
kyounki…. Khuda meherbaan to
Gadha PAHELWAAN…..

NAMSKAR ! yeh hamari FALTOO-SMS sewa hai. is main hum logo ko waqt beh waqt DISTURB Karte hai. is sewa ka labh uthane ka dhanya wad. AB APNA KAM KIJEA

1st gadha-yaar mein jis dhobi ke ghar kaam karta hu vo mujhe bahut marta hai.2nd gadha-tu ghar chor kar bhaag kyo nahi jata.1st gadha-kya batau yaar dhobi ki ek bahut sunder ladki hai.vo jab bhi shararat karti hai to dhobi kehta hai ki teri shadi kisi gadhe se kar dunga.bas yeh soch kar ruka hua hu

Just want to remind you that
I LOVE YOU Sender:
Sania Mirza +919822334455
..
ZYADA SOCH MAT,
Usne muje bheja hai.
..
Tu apna kam kar..

Yeh jo hasinao ke baal hote hai,
ladko ko fasane ke jaal hote hai,
pee jati hai sara khoon ladko ka
tabhi to gaal itne laal hote hain…

oon to hain hum ”BHRAMCHARI”,
magar jahan dekhi ”NAARI”
vahan ”AANKH-MAARI”,
pat gayi to hamari,
varna phir se ”BHRAMCHARI’

Harbhajan to his wife :
Darling ! kya main tera pahila pyar hoo ?
Wife : Kardina sardar wali baat .
Spinner ko kabhi opening milti hai kya?

Girlfriend Ko I LUV U Bolna Hai?
Balance Khatam ?
Ab Kya Karoge ?
Kabutar K Gale
Mein Bandh K
CHITTHI Bhejoge ?
Nahi Na……….
Main Batata Hoon
Kya Karna Hai….
Girlfriend Ka Number Mujhe
De Doge Main I LUV U Boldeta Hoon!

kabhi hosla bhi azmana chahiye,
bure waqt me muskurana bhi chahiye,
chahe kitni bhoi thand pade hafte me
ek baar to nahana chahiye

wo pade kya jise me dali na ho
nwo bag kya jise me mali na ho
wo ghar kya jise me ghar wali na
ho aur wo mard kya jiseki bahar wali naho

Haath mein takat hai to Tajmahal ko hila kar dekh…
Warna..
Aa baith ke do peg whiskey maar aur
Tajmahal ko hilta hua dekh…

Na o inkar karti hai na
o ikrar karti hai,kambakt
mere hi sapno me aake mere
dost se pyr karti hai

wah re gandhi kaise chali teri andhi ,
wah re gandhi kaise chali teri andhi
aaya tha longot main pahoonch
gay paanch soo ki note main.

Ek Aadmi ne apni wife ko khat
likha Is mahine salary ki bajaye
100 ksii bhej raha hu,
Wife ne Jawab diya apke salary ki bajaye 100 kiss mile:
Hisab bhej rahi hu, Doodh wala 2 kiss me maan gaya,
Teacher ko 7 deni padi, Sabjiwala 7 me nahi mana isliye
9 deni padi, Makan malik to roj 6-7 le jata hai.
Aap chinta mat karna mere pass abhi
bhi 30 - 40 bachihai, mahina aaram se kat jayega.

College ki galion mein ajjeb khel hota hai,
Class ke bahane dilo ka male hota hai,
Padne ki jagah luvmail hoat hai,
Isliye to Pappu har saal fail hota hai…..

Andheri sadak,
sunsan kabristan,
sooni haveli,
kala asmaan,
rat hogai soja shaitan..

Tum door sahi majboor sahi,
par yaad tumhari aati hai,
Jab saans wahan par
leti ho toh badboo yahaan par aati hai.

teri julf hai ya raat ka andhera,
teri julf hai ya raat ka andhera,
ho ja GANJI kar de sawera

Ladkiyon ke college me strike thi,
Ladke bhi unke saath the
..Ladkiyon ne naara lagaya.
..HUMARI MAANGE
Pichhe se awaaz aayi SINDHUR SE BHARO….

Durakht ke paymane pe chilman
E husn ka furkat se sharmana..
. Durakht ke paymane pe chilman
E husn ka furkat se sharmana…
Ye line samajh me aaye to mujhe zaroor batana

Gunghat Mein Tujhe Dekha To Deewanna Hua,
Sangeet Ka Taraana Hua, Shamaa Ka Parwana Hua,
Masti Ka mastaana Hua,
Jaise Hi Gunghat Uthaya Is Duniya Se Ravana Hua

Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho, ??
hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.

·

140 Comments/Shayaris on “Remix Pack 1 - Funny Shayari, Jokes all together.”

  1. 1 Anonymous Says:

    COOOOOOOOL CHEETAH BHI PEETAH HAI’ HEHEHEH

  2. 2 tusar Says:

    # Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
    hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
    Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho, ??
    hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.

    Ladkiyon ke college me strike thi,
    Ladke bhi unke saath the
    ..Ladkiyon ne naara lagaya.
    ..HUMARI MAANGE
    Pichhe se awaaz aayi SINDHUR SE BHARO….

    Durakht ke paymane pe chilman
    E husn ka furkat se sharmana..
    . Durakht ke paymane pe chilman
    E husn ka furkat se sharmana…
    Ye line samajh me aaye to mujhe zaroor batana

    Gunghat Mein Tujhe Dekha To Deewanna Hua,
    Sangeet Ka Taraana Hua, Shamaa Ka Parwana Hua,
    Masti Ka mastaana Hua,
    Jaise Hi Gunghat Uthaya Is Duniya Se Ravana Hua

  3. 3 khalid Says:

    very coool side please give me funny sms and pictures thanks

  4. 4 ~abY* Says:

    Hey!! ppl..Nice shers..!
    I’ve got sum too hope u’ll like it..

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    suni zindagi mein hulchul si mehsoos hui,
    bejaan dil ki dhadkan aaj mehsoos hui,
    jaane kyun aisa laga,
    shayad aapki kami mehsoos hui..

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    bandookh chalai fire ho gaya..
    bandookh chalai fire ho gaya..

    …. ….
    kuch bhi bak diya, to shayar ho gaya..!!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    aapki ada..

    aapki smile..

    aapka chehra, aapka chalna..

    aapka bolna..

    uff ye aapka sharmaana..

    aapki aankhein..

    aapka andaz..

    Uff bas ab kya kahun..
    koi ek chiz to theek hoti aap mein..

  5. 5 ~abY* Says:

    Kaash hum ek SMS hote,
    ek click mein aapke paas hote,
    bhale aap mujhe delete kar dete,
    par kuch pal ke liye hum aapke paas to hote…

  6. 6 sachin Says:

    dushre ki amant ko dhekh kar heran mat ho,
    khuda humhe bhi dega pareshan mat ho

  7. 7 ~abY* Says:

    Patte yun hi hilte nahi,
    hawa unko hilaati hai,
    patte yun hi hilte nahi,
    hawa unko hilaati hai,
    ..
    ladke yun hi bigadte nahi,
    ladkiyan unko bigadti hai…

  8. 8 9873402116 Says:

    Mohabbatein In An IT Company:– Ek Trainee tha anjana sa………. coding karne se woh darta tha…….. Copy paste karke, idhar udhar se………….. pooch ke coding kiya karta tha………….. Choree choree…….. chupke chupke………. discussions mein soya karta tha… Jab delivery honee hotee thee raat raat bhar jagta tha… Kuch aata nahee tha usko………… jane kaise deliver karta tha………….. Jab bhee milta tha kisee doosre developer se, unse poocha karta tha… Coding kaisee hotee hai,……………… yeh coding kaisee hotee hai ………….? Aur voh developers bas yahee kah paate the….. “Ankhe khulee ho ya ho band deedar code ka hota hai… kaise kahoo mai o yaro yeh code kaise hota hai….. tururururururururu ru ru ru

  9. 9 alok Says:

    Ladkiyon ke college me strike thi,
    Ladke bhi unke saath the
    ..Ladkiyon ne naara lagaya.
    ..HUMARI MAANGE
    Pichhe se awaaz aayi SINDHUR SE BHARO….

    Durakht ke paymane pe chilman
    E husn ka furkat se sharmana..
    . Durakht ke paymane pe chilman
    E husn ka furkat se sharmana…
    Ye line samajh me aaye to mujhe zaroor batana

    Gunghat Mein Tujhe Dekha To Deewanna Hua,
    Sangeet Ka Taraana Hua, Shamaa Ka Parwana Hua,
    Masti Ka mastaana Hua,
    Jaise Hi Gunghat Uthaya Is Duniya Se Ravana Hua

    Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
    hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
    Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho, ??
    hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.

  10. 10 Anonymous Says:

    Hum tanhaiyo se nahi,mehfil se darte hai.
    Hum zamane se nahi apne aap se darte hai.
    Yuh toh bahut kuch khoya hai humne.
    par naa jaane kyun aapko khone se darte hai….

  11. 11 the best singer VINOD Says:

    santa:-oye tu aaj doctor ke paas janewala tha na?
    banta:-nahi yaar aaj tabiyat thodi kharab hai, kal jaaunga….

  12. 12 anu........ Says:

    life is difficult,
    Full of trials,pains and sorrows…
    BUT if u fall down, just stand up straight , be confident & ask……..

    ABBAY YEH DHAKA KIS NAY MARA……..???????

  13. 13 anu........ Says:

    wafa itna karo k bewafai na rahay….
    Aitebar itna karo k shaq na rahay….
    Dosti itni karo k had he na rahay….
    or
    or

    SMS itna karo k BALANCE he na rahay…..

  14. 14 anu........ Says:

    No visit……

    No calls……

    No sms……..

    No letters….

    No missed calls….

    I m WORRIED

    kya howa????

    kya ZOO walay dobara pakr k lay gay…..???????

  15. 15 shahzada Says:

    kuch khona hai kuch paana hai
    jeevan ka khel puraana hai
    jab tak ye saans chale gi
    yaara ye to chalte jaana hai…

    …kami…kami…kami…kami…kami…kami…

  16. 16 FAIZAN Says:

    LADAYI KARNI HAI TO HAATHON SE KARO
    TALWARON MAIN KIA RAKHA HAI
    MOHABBAT KARNI HAI TO KHUDA SE KARO
    IN LADKION MAIN KIA RAKHA HAI.

  17. 17 ANIL KUMAR DAS Says:

    Na Juban Se,
    Na Nighho se,
    Na Dimag Se,
    Na Rango Se,
    Na Greetinngs Se,
    Na Gift Se,
    Aap ko “Nav Varsh Ki Subh Kamna” Direct Dil Se.
    ” HAPPY NEW YERA”

  18. 18 afiya kauser Says:

    wow thats really nice comic shairs ….

  19. 19 ~abY* Says:

    Khuda bachaye hamein in haseenon se, naazneenon se, dilnasheenon se, jaaasheenon se… par inhe kaun bachaye hum kameenon se…

  20. 20 Sunil Says:

    Kisi ke pyar me gehri chot khayi hai,
    wafa se pehle hi bewafai payi hai,
    log dua mangte hai is haal me marne ki,
    par humne usiki yaadon me
    jeene ki kasam khayi hai….

    Zindagi meri wafa ka jawab kya degi,
    mujhe kya pata tha ke woh bewafa hogi,
    woh khush hain hame barbadh karke,
    fir bhi hum ro rahe hain use yaad kar ke….

    Wo kehate hai majbur hai hum,
    na chahte huye bhi tumse door hai hum,
    chura li unhone dhadkne bhi humari,
    phir bhi wo kehate hai be-kasur hai hum…

    Pyar to hame karna tha,
    par kuch khaas hua nahi.
    Tajmahal to hame bhi banana tha,
    par afsoss ke LOAN pass hua nahi…

    Tum chale jaoge to koi kushi na rahegi,
    tere bina chirago me roshni na rahegi,
    kya kahe kya guzaregi dilpar,
    Zinda to rahenge par zindagi na rahegi….

    Koi ladki hame thukraye iska hame gam nahi…
    Koi ladki hame thukraye iska hame gam nahi…
    Badhnaseeb woh ladki hai jiske naseeb me ham nahi…

    Aapki ek muskurahat ne hamarey hosh udaa diye.
    aapki ek muskurahat ne hamarey hosh udaa diye.
    hum hosh me aane hi wale the.
    ki aap fir se muskura diye!

    Dil Ki Dahleez pe Koi gum na ho,
    Hamari ye doste kabhe kam na ho,
    Aapko jahan ki sari khushiyan mile,
    Bhale hi us khushi mein hum ho na ho

    Anjane me dil humara gawa baithe,
    iss pyar me kaise dil kho baithe,
    unse kya gila kare bhul to hamari thi,
    jo bina dil wale se dil laga baite…

    Jiskepas kuch nahi uspe duniya hasti hai,
    jiske paas sabkuch hai usse duniya jalti hai..
    mere paass tho sirf aapki dosti hai,
    jise paane ke liye duniya tarasti hai…

    Der raat jab kisi ki yaad sataye,
    thandi hawa jab zulfon ke sahlaye,
    karlo aankhe band aur so jao,
    kya pata jiska khayal hai
    wo khwabon mein aa jaye…

    Hum use bhula kar bhi nahi ji sake,
    Hum use yaad rakh kar bhi nahi ji sake,
    Mar jaate kabke unke bina
    Par unki baaho ke bina mar bhi na sake……….

    Kaash ye zalim judai na hoti….
    rab tune ye chiz banai na hoti…
    na hum unse milte na ye pyar hota…
    zindagijo apni thi parai na hoti…..

    Waqk guzrega hum bikhar jayenge,
    kaun jane ki hum kidhar jayenge,
    hum aapki parchayi hain yaad rakhna,
    jahan tanhai mili waha hum nazar ayenge…

    phool khiltay rahain zindagi ke raah mein
    hasi chamakti rahay aap ki nigah mein
    kadam kadam per mile khushi ke bahar apko
    dil deta hai baar baar yehi dua app ko

    Ram ne Danush toda to Sita Bhaag kar aayi….
    Krishna ne Basuri bajayi to Radha daud ke aayi….
    Hum ne sirf Siti bhajayi wo to Bapko le aayi…….

    Gooood Mooooooooooooooorning India
    bole to sachchai pe chalne ka
    aur vinamrata se bolne ka.
    In short Gandhigiri ki baat aur
    dadagiri ki vaat lagane ka maamu…

    Na hote ye sapne ye khwabon ki duniya
    kisi ko chahat ki tamanna na hoti,
    na julfo ki chaya na phulon ki khushbu,
    yaadon me unki ye raatein na kat ti
    jo na hoti mohabat ye ansu na hote
    dil bhi na khota aj tanha na rota
    diwanon si apni ye halat na hoti
    agar jahan me kambakht ye MOHABBAT na hoti.

    Unhone dekha aur ansu gir pade,
    bhari barsat me jaise phul bikhar pade,
    dukh vo nahi ke unhone hume alvida kaha,
    dukh to ye hai ke uske baad vo khud bhi ro pade.

    Hasrat hai sirf unhe paane ki,
    aur koi khwaahish nahi is deewane ki.
    shikwa mujhe unse nahi, khuda se hai,
    kya zarurat thi unhe itna khoobsurat banane ki….

    uski ek yaad bechain bana jati hai,
    har gali me uski surat nazar aati hai,
    kaisa haal kiya usne pyar me,
    hamko neend aati hai to
    ankhen bura maan jati hai……

    Pathar jaisi dunya me dil apna laga baite,
    kuch hi dino me meethe sapne saja baite,
    rokte the pehle logo ko is aag se,
    ab khud hi ko is aag me jala baite….

    Zindagi kisi ki mohtaaj nahi hoti,
    dosti sirf jazbaat nahi hoti,
    kuch to khayal aaya hoga khuda ko,
    varna yu hi aapki humse mulaqat na hoti.

    Woh jate hue keh gaye ki ab to hum
    sirf tumhare khwabo me hi aayenge,
    koi keh de unse ki woh ek baar wada to karle,
    hum zindagi bhar ke liye so jayenge…

    Meri prem kahani ka kya ajeeb ENDING tha,
    Izhar-E-Mohabbat kiya tha maine SMS se,
    jo unki shaadi tak PENDING tha…..

  21. 21 its me Says:

    Its funny when people discuss over “love marriage” and “arranged marriage”
    it is like asking a person if he would like to “hang himself” o”shoot himself”.

    Aap ne VEER-ZARA Film dekhi hai?
    Film ke end mein jab VEER (Shahrukh Khan) buddha ho jata hai,
    to aik khoobsurat poem mein apna haal sunata hai
    “Main Qaidi Number 786, Jail ki salakhon se bahar deikhta hoon”.
    Akhir mein uski ZARA ke sath shadi ho jati hai aur film wahin pe
    khatam hoti hai. Leikin is ke baad VEER (Shahrukh Khan) kiya kehta hai?
    Wo Hazir khidmet hey……

    Main Shohar Number 420
    Khirki se bahar deikhta hoon
    larkiyon se bhari college ki Bus,
    jab unhain chor k jaati hai
    aik larki jo paros mein rehti hai,
    mere saamne aati hai
    khud ko Samiya kehti hai
    mujhe Uncle bulati hai
    aisi pariyon ko deikh kar,
    bahar jaane ko jee karta hai
    khirki se neeche kood kar,
    hath milane ko jee karta hai
    Apni Biwi ko chor kar,
    bhaag jaane ko jee karta hai
    Wo kehte hain uska Bhai tandrust hai bohat
    phir bhi maar khane ko jee karta hai
    wo kehte hain ab kuch hath nahin aaye ga
    phir bhi kuch paane ko jee karta hai

  22. 22 rahul patel Says:

    jo sadiyon se hata aaya hai …woh repeat kar dunga.
    to na mili too tujhe…shift delete kar dunga.

  23. 23 sinchan Says:

    in shayarion ko badhai diya jaye to kam hogi
    in shayarion ko badhayi diya jaye to kam hogi…
    inke liye to mere har lafz nakam hogi!!

    aise to hume naa samjhiye,
    kabhie kabhie hum shayari kar lete,
    aaj aapke is mehfil main,
    humbhi aapna shayar aazma lete hain..

    har pal hai pal bhar ke liye,
    ji lo inhe tum har pal ke liye,
    vaqt to yu fisal jayega ret ki tarah,
    de jayegi yaade har pal ke liye.

    maut pe yakin hai,
    tum par bhi aetbaar hai,
    dekho pehle kaun aata hain,
    hume to sirf intezaar hain..

  24. 24 sinchan Says:

    mistake corrected

    aise to hume sher naa samjhiye,
    kabhie kabhie hum shayari kar lete,
    aaj aapke is mehfil main,
    humbhi aapna shayar aazma lete hain..

  25. 25 JItendra Prasad Says:

    abhi tu kali hai badihokar gulab banogi,
    kitane ko jalakar kishi ek ka suhag banogi.

    Tujjhe rup mati to log mujhe Tajmahal kahte hai
    oparwatiaakar chhu mera charan log mujhe kaulash pati kahte hai

  26. 26 itsme Says:

    6′2″ jiski height ho
    Jeans dheeli magar body tight ho
    Biwi ka her nakhra uthaye, itna mizaaj uska light ho
    Husband apna aisa bright ho

    Uff tak na kare itna quiet ho
    Dinner banaye wo jab bhi romantic night ho
    Shopping ker ke jab bhi aoon, bolay begum tum kitni nice ho
    Husband apna aisa bright ho

    Mujhay rani bana ker rakhay, to phir zindagi delight ho
    Saas sussar ke samne kahay, jaan tum hamesha right ho
    Hamesha jo haar maan jaye, jab bhi kabhi fight ho
    Husband apna aisa bright ho

    Jaha chahoon jaoon, jo chahy karoon, kuch is tarah ki life ho
    Her doosray week ghoomne phirne ki flight ho
    Aisa ho jaye to mein urron aasman mein, jaisay ke kite ho
    Husband apna aisa bright ho

  27. 27 Rajat bansal Says:

    Aapake miss call bhi kya baat hain,
    Aapke sms bhi din raat hain,
    Kabhi kabhi phone bhi kiya karo,
    Suna hain aapake awaaz me bhi khas baat hain.
    • Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de,
    Tadap raha hu kabhi to apna pyaar de,
    Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna,
    Kam se kam ek Missed call he maar de
    • Pyar ko mat chhupao, usey zarurat hai jatane ki, Apni pratibhaon ko mat chupao, unhe zarurat hai badhane ki, Ab aur perfume mat lagao, tumhe zarurat hai nahane ki.
    • Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla, dosti ke naam par hauwa nikla,
    Jo roka karte they humein sharab peene se, aaj unki jeb se pauwa nikla.
    • Pyaar sab ne rabb nu vakh-vakh ditta,
    kise nu lakh te kise nu kakh ditta,
    Sahnu tuhade jeha yaar ditta,
    lakh ton v sava-lakh ditta.

  28. 28 amna Says:

    1.hum ne jub kabhi khushi mehsoos ki,
    her kadam pe aap ki kami mehsoos ki,
    dor reh ker bhi aap ki dosti kum na hui,
    ye baat hum ne dil se mehsoos ki.

    2.duniya mai 3 chezein kabhi bhi aa sekti hain
    paisa……….mout………..our….our….our mera SMS

    3.dost 1 sahil hai tufan k liye,
    dost 1 aayina hai armano k liye,
    dost 1 mehfil hai anjano k liye,
    dost 1 kuahish hai aap jaise dost pane k liye.

    4.D se DOSTI,D se DARD,D se DIL,D se DILLAGI,D se DEEWNGI PER,D se itna bhi
    dur na ho jana k S se SMS or C se CALL bhi na ker sako….

    5.dosti achi ho to rung lati hai
    dosti gehri ho to sub ko bhati hai
    dosti nadan ho to tut jati hai
    per dosti hum jaison se ho to HISTORY bun jati hai.

  29. 29 hassan Says:

    dosti achi ho to rung lati hai
    dosti gehri ho to sub ko bhati hai
    dosti nadan ho to tut jati hai
    per dosti hum jaison se ho to HISTORY bun jati hai.

    humne tum ko dil diya dildaar samajh ker tum kha gayi iss ko nasvaar samajh ker

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