1. Regular naps prevent old ageâ€¦ especially if you take them while driving.
2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
5. A childâ€™s greatest period of growth is the month after youâ€™ve purchased new school uniforms.
6. Donâ€™t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
7. Donâ€™t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live withoutâ€¦ but whatever you do, youâ€™ll regret it later.
8. You canâ€™t buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.
9. True friends stab you in the front.
10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit Iâ€™m wrong and she agrees with me.
14. Those who canâ€™t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
16. It doesnâ€™t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.