Funny One Liners – One Liner Jokes, Famous Oneliners
On the cellphone pad of life, always keep one finger on the disconnect key.
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.
Nope…..u still ugly!
FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated…calibration complete, now searching…..still searching….still searching……sorry, no friends found.
Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense? I’ll tel U l8r.
Ths msg cn only b read by a SEXY person -
Nothing? Soz, I guess UR just not SEXY But hey, i Didnt force it ugly, so get lost!
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!
HELP: Cops are after a suspect who smart, witty, sexy and good lookin…so where you gonna hide ME?
U know what’s the difference between u getin laid, and pope getin laid? If pope get laid it a Sin, if u get laid it a Miracle 
This is your CellPhone Operator. We just found out you’re too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it. Thank you
Why’d they call it PMS? Cos Mad cow disease was already taken!
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Always remember you’re unique – just like everyone else.
I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were negative.
How many letters in the Alphabet? 19, cuz ET went home on a UFO and the FBI went after him.
Don’t feel sad…don’t feel blue…Frankenstein was ugly too…
U got Sex Appeal…U got Class…U got Moves…U got da Face, da Body….damn…I got wrong number…SORRY